We live in a world where we are constantly asked to compare ourselves to others whose standards we all expect to meet or surpassed.

Being one’s self is no longer admired or encouraged. We are all expected to look the same, behave the same and if you don’t then you are the odd one out or you are considered a rebel.

All too often we are asked to be someone other than who we are. Many of us then lose ourselves.

We focus on all the things that make seem to make us not good enough. We never take the time to see ourselves as separate individuals, with different dreams and aspirations. We are always being compared to or are comparing ourselves to someone else. All are trying to live someone else’s dream.

We see ourselves as failures. We diminish our achievements; we belittle ourselves, and yet we wonder why we feel bad about ourselves. We often wonder why we do the very things we promise ourselves never to do. Why is it we make the same mistakes over and over again?

No matter how good we are at our jobs, whether it is running our homes or own businesses we all suffer from the not being good enough syndrome. We are never satisfied with our achievements and so we work ourselves to frazzle or suffer from all other mental illnesses brought on by stress.

We are constantly judged by other people. We have a desire to worry about everything. Many of us walk around with the world on our shoulders.

Why is it so hard for us to love ourselves the way we are? Why do we find it so hard to accept ourselves the way we are?

We need to refocus. We need to regain our self and self-worth.

Take some time to focus on yourselves. Find out what about you that makes you unique. Celebrate your uniqueness and accept those differences. Find something about yourself that you love and focus on why you love it. Find something you dislike and focus on it too and why you dislike it and why should love that part of you anyhow. That part you love and that part that you dislike are both part of the same unique person.

Write messages to yourself, encouraging yourself why you are good enough. Why it is OK to make mistakes, but yet those mistakes don’t change who you are nor will they be repeated tomorrow. Those mistakes are what will make you a better person. It doesn’t diminish your abilities or reduce your strength. Mistakes don’t make you less than it should make you stronger to the contrary. Your mistakes should be the steps you climb to the top by overcoming them one by one.

Focus on your strengths. What is about you that make you so much more determined to succeed. Is it because you refuse to give up or because you work harder at it.

Celebrate your strength. Work on your advantages and build up those areas that are not so strong. “I did the best I could, and in some areas, my best was not good enough. I’ve made some bad choices.” Amy Grant

Affirm yourself every day why you deserve the best. Focus on the things about you that make you so very good. Speak positive things to yourself. Call yourself great, a wonderful friend, awesome wife, best mother, loving a daughter. Feed positive affirmations into your life and gradually see yourself shine. You will start to breathe better and relax more. You are now coming into your own. You start to love you more and more.

Accept that you are only human and not perfect. You must accept that you will always be trying and sometimes failing but keep going forward.

Stop criticizing yourself. To stop feeling as though you are not good enough, you have to stop critiquing everything you do. You must resist the temptation to be negative towards yourself and things you do. It will take a little getting used to, but you must do it.

Resist the temptation to be negative. Negativity is one of the most difficult habits to get rid of since it has been ingrained in our being. Negativity is everywhere around us. It starts with what we look like, how we should feel and then it gets into our mindset and every aspect of our lives. You must start replacing those negative habits with positive ones. Make a list of all the negative messages you hear and can remember in one day and you will realize that our lives are filled with negativity influences.

Start telling yourself how worthy you are of all you have. Say out loud to yourself how much you awesome you are and that you are indeed good enough. Tell yourself that you have worked hard and so deserve to be happy.

Meditate. Take the time to meditate and to focus on what is truly important. Focus on your inner self and give love to you because you deserve it. Practice hugging and loving on you. Saying wonderful, kind and uplifting things to yourself every chance you get will lift your spirit. That is how you will change your mind.

Change your attitude about your past. There is nothing you can do about the past and so dwelling on your past mistakes and lost opportunities will never erase them. You can change the future and see the pass as the stepping stone towards your wonderful life ahead of you. Do not punish yourself or others for things that happen in the past. Choose to let go and release others and most of all yourself from past hurt and pain. Resenting others is like drinking poison and expecting others to die.

Learn to forgive. You must forgive and forget not only others but yourself. We are taught to forgive and forget, but little is taught about forgiving ourselves for our guilt and shame. Let go of it all and put it behind you in the past as it is and move forward. Use those mistakes and disappointments to forge a better future for you and those around you.

Rose Costas is the founder of Positive Attitudes for Life, a blog that inspires and motivate women who are starting over later in life and need a boost in confidence to face the challenges ahead. Rose is a big believer in the power of facing your challenges head on, and that boldly wearing your scars can help others triumph over their own challenges. She also believes you can have the life you want at any age if you are willing to face your fears with confidence. An accountant by profession with a passion for writing and blogging, Rose can help you to get back the fire that once burned within you. You can visit her website http://positiveattitudesforlife.com to get a copy of her eBook “34 Ways to Build Your Confidence Today.”